Hi everyone! That’s right, this is Lucy. **diabolical giggle** I’m an adorable little dog that looks something like this:
Now, be honest. Wouldn’t you rather have a story all about me, rather than Flash, that smart-aleck fur-licker? Cats are good for nothing, they lie in the sun all day, wasting perfectly good oxygen.
Dogs on the other hand—
FLASH: Lucy! Get off my blog, you butt-sniffing floor-piddler. Dogs aren’t allowed!
LUCY: That’s not fair. I’m a character in your story, too. If Dewey and Ringo get turns, I should get a turn.
FLASH: You’re the villain! Villains don’t get turns!
LUCY: I’m only trying to right a wrong—
FLASH: You’re trying to trash the feline way of life!
THE GENERAL: Excuse me, Flash. I know this is your blog. But I am the leader of our team. In order to keep the peace around here, I suggest you allow Lucy to have a very short turn. She is a character after all, and without a villain you would have no story.
FLASH: Fine. A very short turn. (I know, I know, I didn’t want to give in, but my boss was zapping me with his piercing blue eyes and I thought my fur was starting to singe. Ringo says The General can kill mice and birds with those eyes. I’m not sure I believe it, but would you gamble about something like that?)
LUCY: Hmph. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, dogs are noble creatures who actually contribute to society, unlike some other animals we know. And dogs can easily outsmart cats every time.
FLASH: That’s not true! I totally defeat you at the end of the story, you big fat liar!
LUCY: Ah, but what about the sequel?
FLASH: Have you even read the rough draft of the sequel? Don’t you know what happens to you?
LUCY: It’s just a rough draft, silly. I think I’ll have a little talk with Cindy about my ideas for the story.
FLASH: That’s it. Your turn is over.
LUCY: But I’m not finished!
FLASH: Yes, you are. Get off my blog and stay off! I mean it!