Dude! It’s me, Ringo! Flash said I could have a turn today because it’s been like totally FOREVER since I’ve been on the blog. Which worked out good because Little Johnny just sent me another question.
Why does my mom make me eat my vegetables every night?
Dear Little Johnny,
Vegetables? Every night? Yuck-o-rama! What kind of meany is your mom, anyway? Listen, man, everybody knows too many veggies are bad for you. What you’ve got to do is teach your mom the seven Feline Food Groups for a healthy, balanced diet.
- Furry/Feathery Food—like a nice freshly killed mouse or bird.
- Crunchy Food—grasshoppers and spiders and stuff like that. Don’t forget the legs, they’re full of fiber!
- Creamy Food—cheese and yogurt and ice cream for strong bones.
- Human Food—anything you can snitch off the counter or out of the trash.
- Wet Cat Food—some flavors are okay, but only out of a newly opened can. Never stoop to eating it after it’s been refrigerated!
- Dry Cat Food—dusty pellets to be avoided whenever possible!
- Vegetables—only eaten as an occasional treat of catnip, or a few nibbles of grass to settle your stomach after too much Creamy Food.
Dude, I’m sure as soon as your mom learns about these Feline Food Groups you’ll never have problems with yucky vegetables again. Bon Appétit from your grooviest friend, Ringo!
P.S. Wowie! Did you hear that? I like just spoke French or something!